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  • Writer's pictureAmy Clark

New Year's Resolutions and Regrets?

Updated: Jan 10, 2020

Are you a resolution setter every New Year? Is January 1st the chosen time for you to proclaim new goals like starting a cleanse, getting more serious with your exercise regime, making professional changes-- or do you simply feel pressure to do so? Are you even able to outline your deepest desires or does self-judgment get in the way? What about your past regrets and baggage—are you free to walk away from them?

How do you choose to manifest and create the “New” for yourself in 2017?

These are some of the questions we chewed on during our January Circles, kicking off the discussion with thoughts from Regina Thomashauer, aka Mama Gena’s belief that we should chuck our resolutions and adapt a “feminine approach” to committing to our desires. We must remember that logic is the enemy, desires hate deadlines and yearning is actually beautiful!

The ladies in our Circles had these thoughts and suggestions:

  • Resolutions are a set-up for failure. We should all have permission to feel the freedom of creating and pursuing our desires each and every day.

  • The concept of time is one of great interest---for some it’s an illusion and feels unnecessary as a marker for creating and manifesting. For others, time provides the framework to call us to take stock and put our thoughts and desires into form. The seasons provide inspiration for forward planning while setting monthly intentions is a manageable way to focus on dreams and feel how possibilities can turn into realities.

  • Verbalizing what we want to create within a supportive community is important as there is a sense of accountability from sharing planned commitments. Knowing you’re not alone can be very freeing and powerful.

  • Setting “intentions” rather than “resolutions” feels less daunting as a starting point. Our choice of words can have a great impact on how we feel.

  • Creating a practice of daily rituals, like setting aside time each day to focus on and take some action towards our desires, or meditating on and visualizing those desires.

With regard to the question of how we rid ourselves of past regrets and baggage moving into the New Year, the ladies had these suggestions:

  • Take a look at your relationship with self- judgment and the perceived judgment you feel from others. Commit to being kinder to yourself. When you find yourself judging another, it’s usually a signal that you’re unhappy with and judging something about yourself.

  • Explore your relationship with forgiveness. Can you learn how to forgive yourself and others? Forgiveness opens the door to the path to inner freedom.

  • When negative, scary or feelings of self -judgment and regret arise, be with those feelings. Take a look at what’s being brought up for you so you have the opportunity to learn from and move through the feelings.

  • Stay in the present moment, as that’s all you really have.

  • Have awareness of your feelings. Know you’re more than likely to have been through similar feelings/stuff before and survived so remember you can survive again!

  • Try to expose yourself to different viewpoints about letting go of your “stuff” until something resonates for you.

  • Always remember to take a lighthearted approach and turn to humor whenever the going gets tough.

  • Draw on your past experience and wisdom and that of those around you.

Recommended and related books and Podcasts:

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg

How do you manifest and create for yourself?

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