top of page
  • Amy Clark

Having a Sense of Control--Really?

The chaos and upheaval in the world provoked me to question why we humans still expend so much energy striving for a sense of control over all aspects of our lives? Why do we cling to the idea that having control is a realistic goal and for that matter, why do many of us need to feel that sense of control in order to find our happiness?

Today more than ever, having control over our lives feels supremely illusive! If you simply listen to the news, it can feel like our foundational rug is being pulled out from under us in every which way. Between the political climate of uncertainty swirling around us 24/7, the Covid-19 virus epidemic threatening our health and the unsettling climate forecasts in our future, to name a few, feeling like victims or sitting ducks is sending many of us down the proverbial rabbit hole! Feeling a loss of control and the byproduct of fear that results is up front and center for many of us at the moment!

I, for one, am guilty of needing to feel in control of all the parts of my life. The feeling affords me a sense of accomplishment, relief, peace and calm amidst the day to day stressors. But when I sit back and take stock, I realize how insane this is! We've all heard the adage "the only constant in life is change." That actually implies the opposite of having "control." It's clear to me that paddling upstream against an indomitable current is not a wise or well serving endeavor.

So maybe the question is, what can we do to gain a sense of control in our lives in this time of disequilibrium?

It's so important for us as individuals to dig deep, take heart and to remember we actually do have power to find our own balance. We have total control over our personal choices, thoughts, beliefs and actions that guide the trajectory of our lives.

According to the sage teachings of spiritual teacher, Eckhart Tolle, we only have NOW, our PRESENT MOMENT. We must transcend our thoughts of the past or future as our thoughts and actions in this very moment contribute to a sense of personal control in our lives. Being in the NOW enables us to connect to the very essence of our being.

One might argue that it's necessary to think ahead to plan, create and manifest one's desires, but according to Tolle, living a life of presence is what we know for sure. Finding appreciation and gratitude for where we are in this very moment is our starting point.

There is always a simplicity about the present moment

What are some of the tools you use to own your present moments? Many of the following suggestions have been consistently suggested by the ladies in our Circles in answer to this question as well as panacea's for all our previous topics of discussion. I think it's time for all

of us to really listen and take these suggestions seriously.

* Start a daily meditation practice. Your breathe is your ally and will connect you to your inner voice and being

* Align with a higher spiritual power

* Use prayer

* Turn off the news and social media

* Ramp up your self care practices, such as getting enough sleep and eating a healthy diet

* Find and connect with a like minded supportive community

* Engage in a daily gratitude and appreciation practice

* Take daily exercise- get out in nature

*Face your emotions head on and learn from them

*Stay focused upon what makes you happy. Visualize and feel the joy generated by those thoughts as much as you can

Are these tools realistic ones for you? They are for me and I'd stick my neck out to add that taking actions like those listed above can create positive momentum not just for ourselves but for those around us. These practices can enable us to redefine control in our lives and the role we play in creating and designing our journeys It's truly provocative to realize that self empowerment = control.

What are your thoughts? Do you see yourself able to find your own personal control in your life? Does having a sense of control even matter to you? We'd love you to share below.

26 views0 comments


bottom of page